(no subject)

[orvida]

I've decided that i can't keep running to the defense of my children all i can do is love them they have to learn that in this life nothing is a given.

If every time they get a scrape and i'm going crazy triing to help them they'll never learn. I'm 40 not 20 my body is going thru it's own changes and me and keith are not getting any younger.I've called my friends and told them to do nothing unless they are really triing to hurt my family.

But at the same time i can't let my guard down either.

It is what it is, my daughter sheena has to learn lessons in this life if i keep enabling her she will never learn. She unquestionably knows that i love her, same as my son and all of my children. But i can't live their lives for them they have to grow up at some point and time and take responsibility for their actions.

Now as for me health wise i have been having dizzy spells for the past few weeks and with everything going on i have to start focusing more on me and the younger ones and less on my older children.

Now onto more important stuff going on with Me Myself and I

I've been going on to my flist list and reading more stories on those sites and i'm only upto the letters a-b so if your on my flist give me time to get to your sites it's nothing personal.

I'm just organized that way some people whose flist i'm on i read their stories more so often. But again to the others just give me a chance to get my priorities in order and i promise i will get to your stories, their isn't enough time in my day to go thru everyone's all the time with my Doctors appt's and than going to 4 different schools 1 Public School 1 JHS and 2 H.S.'s it isn't easy there isn't enough time for me in the day all the time.

Comments

[avierra.livejournal.com]

It's so hard to know what to do with kids that age... they're so awkward, and they don't listen and of course they always know better than their parents. You have tried hard to protect your daughter and keep her safe, but I suppose there comes a time when you have to step back and just let her do her own thing and see what happens. Like you said, you can't live their lives for them, and if you have repeatedly tried to reach out and help her and have constantly had that help thrown in your face... well, I guess everyone goes through their own version of life kicking you around, some more than others. My aunt calls that "going through life sideways." She was talking about my mother, who's another one that never seems to learn from her mistakes. It's just hard to watch while it happens.

And I am sorry you are having such a hard time lately.

[kispexi2.livejournal.com]

I think you're being very wise re the older kids. It's so, so hard but in the end, yeah, if they're feeding into the problem, they have to learn to stop. But I know it's not going to be easy for you. Just hope it works.

[orvida.livejournal.com]

Absolutely i agree whole heartely with you on that score. My mother only had to tell me something once and that was all she wrote.

Now i'm the youngest of 7 and i have 4 older sisters and none of them were their for me in my youth everyone one was out for themselves which was fine by me.

I had enough sense not to get caught up in everything my friends did sex drugs and teen pregnancy or god forbid drop out of school. My mother taught me that, but at the same time she never really had time for me either to busy working to keep food on the table a roof over our heads and so forth.

But by the time i was 13 i was basically raising myself for my mother got sick with Polymolysitis which is a rare muscle disease sort of like MS but different it attacks the joints and works it's way thru your other tissues and it causes strokes which ultimately killed her at the age of 53 which is why i have to step back.

From all of this with my children or else they'll keep doing the same thing if they think that i'll keeping bailing them out of their problems.

This disease it's not hereditary.

But it seems like i'm showing symptoms of it this is why my body is in such dire straights as is the case but i won't know for sure until more tests are done. hopefully that is not the case with me.

And this is why i must let my children learn i have 4 younger children i want to be able to raise, I truly believe my mother would have died long before that but because of my age she forced herself to suffer the pains until i was in a position were i could really take care of myself.

Which is why i moved out at the age of 18, my mother passed away when i had just turned 26, so that lets you know her will to survive was strong and i want to be able to be their for my youngest ones as well god willing. I keep telling my kids i'm not promised tomorrow, life is what you make it and i want to live to see my miracle baby become a man at least, and than if i go into that gentle goodnight i will know that i served my purpose here.

[kispexi2.livejournal.com]

My mother only had to tell me something once and that was all she wrote.

*nods* Me too. But it was a different world back then. We can only parent our kids for our time.

I'm so sorry to hear about your physical problems on top of everything else. You really have it hard just now.

[orvida.livejournal.com]

Well i can only hope that, that isn't the case with me you know.
And as far as the kids go other than the 4 younger ones the 3 older ones have to learn lives lessons i can't hold their hands forever no matter how i feel about the situation.