Jun. 12th, 2008

orvida: (Default)
What do you do when you have 2 teenagers who are very hardheaded?
YOU PUT THEM OUT? You send them to group homes? You just wash you hands of them even through you love with everything in your fibre what? I'm at my wits end right now i sent my daughter to the store to exchange a fan that was broke,that was yesterday afternoon i have not seen or heard from her. Her school is calling me. What do i tell them i have no clue were she is. What does that say about me her mother? My son is no better he should have been graduating this month but no he chose to drop out and he's not stupid althrough his actions speak louder than words at the moment. Now you may ask yourselves what about seeking out help,let me explain something to you who give a dam i had a home maker to help me with the 4 younger children acs decided that i didn't need the help anymore even through i'm going thru alot of health issues at this time in my life. I called the supervisor and she was a very nasty bitch towards me really rude. by nature i'm a friendly person i respect everyone's opinion and i do listen rather they believe i do or not. I might not agree but i will take it into consideration none the less.
Now if yall keep up with whats going on in new york you may see were children are being killed by people claiming to love these unfortunate kids who end up dead at these monsters hands you have never heard me say that i abuse my children i don't hit them even when i know that they deserve severe ass kicking such as my daughter and my son god knows, but i have to restrain myself because i know me i would end up killing one or both of them and i truly believe that is were i lost control i try time outs that shit doesn't work i've taken away tv's games money you name it i've taken it away from them punishments are a joke to them, again i won't hit them because that just might be the one time i might actually kill them inadvertently.

I've talked to psychologists last count #12 no help to me at all. They had the nerve to give me a drug test when it should have been the 2 kids they did that too!

I've had a few of them say that it is some how my fault and when i questioned why is that and not just peer pressure no answer to that question i'm still waiting
for them to get back to me on that one. Now my hubby is not the first 4 children's father but i knew him before i had children and he's been a rock for me for the last 20 or so years we've been together my last three are his biological kids he didn't have children until he turned 47.

Now my 4 older kids father was 42 and i was 18 when we got together don't laugh i was not living at home at that time i had already moved out of my mom's apartment and i was working and going to college. I didn't have any kids until i turned 22
and the relationship was fine until he went right back to drinking that's when we started having problems but being wet behind the ears i tried to change him,but you know the saying you can not change a leopards spots or so i've been told.

Now you might wonder how it is that i've been with keith for 20+ years we used to know the same friend that is how we got together i was going out with said friend
george. when we broke up he wanted to go out with me but i was against dating his friend i just didn't believe in dealing with one's friend after breaking up with the other call me old fashion but that's me anyway when george passed away we ended up getting together a few years later way after me and the others kids father ended our dysfuntional relationship actually it was me that broke up that abusive relationship. I couldn't take it any more busted lips blackeyes fractured arms legs
dam near being blinded with industrial bleach never having contact with my mom or other family memebers due to his jealousy always thinking i'm out messing around which wasn't the case i just had more male friends than female friends.

Anyway he's no help to me or the children he ignores them when he see's them i guess his way of getting back at me or so he thinks,I could care less he's never done anything for them from the jump why would i expect him to change 17 years later
right. Now keith has always been my friend from when we first met we used to go hang
out on the duece that's downtown manhattan for those who don't know before it was changed to whatever the hell they want to call it now.

So he stepped in when me and willie or i finally called it quits after 10 yrs.
We gradualy enter the next phase of our relationship and we've been together ever since. He's basicaly raised my other children before we had children of our own together. Yet they treat him very badly not the last 2 their just hard headed but not as far gone as the older 2 one's are believe me.

But again is life really worth all of this heartache i love my children god knows i do but what do you do when your kids want to be growner than they are/ or want to be? If some one out their knows of my type of situation any advice will be greatly
appreciated. As i've said i don't want to be another parent whose known as a child(ren) killer.Me and jails cells don't mix not at all i fear small spaces.

I hate putting myself on blast but i had gotten advice from jd at one time and it seemed to help at that time so maybe some one else can offer up some sound advice to this over the hill lady at 39 any and all advice will be taken seriously and taken into consideration.
To any and all who respond i thank you for thinking of me in my time of need.
If their's any mispelled words blame it on the artirits in my hands very uncoordinated at the moment.
orvida: (Default)
Okay thanks for responding even if you have no children of you own i'm willing to read any and all info. so thanks again.

As far as anything goes i'm the youngest of 7. And truthfuly my family is of no help all they do is critersise me and my handling of the situation or worst lay the blame at my feet.

As far sitting them down and talking to them i did that with 12 psychologists and yet they made it seem as if my children problems lye with me, and i'm willing to a degree accept resposibility for that, but in the same breahe i must reirate they are not stupid kids my daughter wants to be a lawyer she makes the grades in school and was offered an internship at a very respectable law firm in new jersey, for the summer and get paid for it.

My son at one time wanted to be a storm chaser he watches the discovery channel go figure. And i always encourage them to go further than i had to make something of their lives to get out of the ghetto asap don't get caught up in all of this bullshit out here drugs, gangs etc because their is a better way of life out their they just have to reach for it and i'll support them an anyway i can but ultlimately it's up to them to achieve it.

But i'll try what you suggested and i'll let you know one way or the other if it's working or not.< lol>

Oh my way ward daughter returned not to long ago i just told her to take the other 4 outside i need some me time now.
orvida: (Default)
see how paranoid i am i'm sending out daisy to eos for when she recieves her diploma.
go figure. Tryune i'm going to try your method when the way ward daughter comes back from the park with the other 4 children it can't hurt to try right

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